To all my loved ones, I’m sorry if I don’t have your gifts anymore, but I hope you understand that I found a new, more meaningful way to treasure the love you’ve given me.

Gifts are lovely things. They express affection and appreciation. When we care for someone, we offer them a gift as a heartfelt gesture, and receiving one signifies their care for us in return. But what do we do when we receive things that we don’t like or need? What if these gifts start to feel like a burden?

When gifts start to feel like a burden

For as long as I can remember, my family and friends have showered me with gifts on many occasions: birthdays, holidays, and even on random times just to show that they care. Over the years, these tokens of love and affection accumulated, creating a jumbled mixed of cherished memories in my home. Despite its sentimental worth, it was also an overwhelming mess.

I often take a hard look at the cabinet in my living room where I store almost all of the gifts I received over the years but didn’t use. Gifts that are pretty, expensive, or even handmade ones that required effort to make, all held a lot of sentimental value to me.

Deep down in my heart, I’m certain I’ll never have a use for them. They will most likely remain unused and untouched inside the cabinet as the years pass by. I do not display them as they would only collect dust and I’d rather not deal with the extra cleaning. I’m fully aware that, eventually, I’ll need to declutter them because I simply don’t have infinite space in my home to accommodate an excess of belongings.

The emotional challenge of parting with gifts

Decluttering unneeded gifts had been a calling to me for a while, but I knew this process wouldn’t be easy. It went beyond merely clearing out space and organising my belongings. It was about navigating the emotional struggle too — the challenge of saying goodbye to stuff I sincerely appreciated but not needed.

As the years passed, the accumulation of these items gradually became burdensome. Their presence weighed on me, reminding me of the space they occupied both physically and mentally. Even though they meant a lot to me emotionally, having too many of these items started to make my home feel crowded and chaotic. I had to confront the reality that, eventually, I need to part with some of them to regain peace and order.

Here are some examples of gifts I’ve since removed from my home:

• Keychains, magnets, and small souvenirs from acquaintances coming back from overseas travels.
• A bunch of Hello Kitty collectibles I received because I used to love Hello Kitty a lot when I was younger.
• Extra sets of tableware from my relatives that were given as housewarming gifts.
• A stack of cute, wonderful drawings my niece drew for me every year for my birthdays.

Each of these gifts carried memories of the person who gave it to me and the occasion it marked. The guilt of letting them go weighed heavily on my conscience. Am I being ungrateful for considering parting with these excess of material possessions?

Guilt in decluttering sentimental objects

Guilt is a powerful emotion. It can manifest as a heavy burden, especially when it relates to personal relationships. In the context of decluttering, we fear that by letting go of the item, we are somehow rejecting the sentiment behind it.

Gift-giving is a gesture of love, care, and thoughtfulness. It symbolises the relationship between the giver and the recipient. When someone presents us with a gift, they do so with the intention of bringing joy and expressing their appreciation for us. And that’s precisely what these gifts are meant to do: bring us joy. When these gifts begin to feel like a burden, keeping them tucked away in a corner just for the sake of it doesn’t bring joy to me.

As I held each gift in my hands, trying to sort through them to declutter, I remembered stuff about the person giving it. Many beautiful memories flashed by as I contemplated letting them go. It felt like I was betraying the love and thoughtfulness behind each gift. But the act of decluttering didn’t diminish the importance of the relationships or the love I had received. It gets easier once I understand that the essence of love wasn’t in the physical object but in the memories we shared together.

The act of decluttering didn’t diminish the importance of the relationships or the love I had received. The essence of love is not in the physical object, but in the memories shared together.

Honouring the sentimental value of gifts in a different way

I decided to honour the sentimental value of these gift in a different way. I photographed each item I wished to cherish and created a digital notebook to compile them and preserve the essence of the memories without the tangible clutter. This allows me to declutter physically while still cherishing the sentiment behind each gift.

This process took quite an effort. It involved taking photos and documenting details about who gave me each gift and the occasion. It wasn’t a mere act of snapping pictures; I did it with the intention of truly savouring and reminiscing the good memories while organising everything systematically to make it easy for me to revisit in the future. While it wasn’t an easy process, it filled me with gratitude as I relived the memories and nostalgia. It made me realise how loved and cherished I am, and I felt thankful for everything.

I’m using DayOne app to help compile and preserve all the gifts I have received in digital format. They are all now forever cherished in a clutter-free, more meaningful way.

It took me several months to slowly and carefully declutter my gifts cabinet. This journey ultimately felt liberating and enlightening. It made me realise that there are better ways to cherish sentimental objects without accumulating clutter. It wasn’t just about simplifying and organising my space; it also opened up the opportunity to create room for emotional clarity, personal growth, and the embrace of new experiences.

Sorry I threw your gifts away

So dear my loved ones, having to say sorry and explain why I need to part with your presents isn’t easy, but I want to be honest and transparent about it. Your well-intentioned gifts are always appreciated but they have accumulated over time and started to clutter my life. I love them but dislike what they do to my living space at the same time. I’m sorry.

I hope you understand that when I get rid of your gifts that I don’t use or need, it’s not a rejection of your kindness. Your gifts were symbols of love, but letting them sit still gathering dust year after year isn’t the only way to cherish that love. In fact, the act of letting go of the physical items has given me the chance to deeply appreciate the bonds that truly matter between us.

I genuinely hope that our connection remains priceless and unaffected by the material gifts we exchange.

Thank you for being a part of my life’s journey.

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Note: The term ‘throwing away’ here doesn’t always mean discarding in the trash. Some of these gifts found new owners, while others are repurposed or donated to those who might appreciate them more.