Let’s talk about house-envy, that feeling you get when you scroll through social medias and see other people’s seemingly perfect houses while you’re sitting on your ‘bland’ home, wondering if you’ll ever have that dream kitchen or fancy wardrobes.
In the age of social media, where every scroll reveals another glimpse into someone else’s supposedly flawless existence, it’s easy to fall prey to a moment of envy. Does this sound familiar: you’re idly swiping through Instagram or Facebook, and suddenly, you’re bombarded with images of spotless kitchens, immaculate living rooms, and dreamy bedrooms that make your own humble abode feel, well, dull and uninspiring.
The truth is, you’re not alone in experiencing this pang of house-envy. It’s a common sentiment that many of us grapple with in the digital age. In fact, plenty of people are downright fed up with the endless parade of perfectly polished homes flooding their social feeds. It has got them wondering if anyone out there still lives in a ‘normal’ house anymore. In response to normalise ‘normal’ houses, some have started flaunting their own unfiltered homes, complete with the delightful messiness that comes with real-life living.
Despite this refreshing authenticity, it’s important to recognise that house-envy can still seep in at times. Even amidst the genuine portrayal of lived-in homes, comparisons and feelings of inadequacy may linger, especially when we are inundated with images or videos of picture-perfect homes on the social media platforms that we use everyday.
What makes us feel house-envy?
The feeling of envy can be triggered by various factors, including societal pressures, personal aspirations, and the pervasive influence of social media. The constant flood of aesthetic images or videos we see on social media can really make us feel like we are lacking. It’s like we’re constantly comparing ourselves to some ideal standard that’s impossible to reach.
The same goes for our own homes. When we see pictures of beautiful homes, we often find ourselves longing for a similar level of perfection in our own living spaces.
On Social Media, It’s All Curated.
It’s worth noting that people tend to highlight only the best parts of their lives on social media, and that includes their homes. While those dreamy houses on TikTok may appear amazing, they represent just a fragment of someone else’s reality. They don’t necessarily capture the whole picture of normal everyday life with the messes and imperfections that come with daily living.
Acknowledging the Feeling of House-Envy
You may have seen millions of stunning homes and heard it millions of times more: what you see online isn’t the whole story, or that people only show their best side while conveniently leaving out the cluttered and messy corners. But all this does so little if we’re not at peace with ourselves first.
In life, there will always be people who have more than you and people who have less. This fact doesn’t invalidate your feelings of envy, but it serves as a reminder of the diverse circumstances we all navigate. Dwelling solely on what others possess can overshadow the blessings and unique aspects of your own life.
We often feel inadequate when we compare ourselves to those who seem to have more, and conversely, we feel a sense of superiority when we compare ourselves to those who have less. But seeking validation through either spectrum isn’t going to fully help you overcoming the feeling of envy. Focus on acknowledging your emotions and what you feel about it, as it is the first fundamental step toward finding contentment within your own living spaces.
It’s essential to acknowledge your envy without letting it define your sense of worth or contentment. Instead, use it as a catalyst for personal growth and gratitude for the things that truly matter to you.
What to Do if You Feel House-Envy
The key to overcoming house-envy lies not in comparing your living space to others, but in embracing your own unique journey and finding contentment within it.
Instead of getting caught up in comparing your home to others, focus on what makes yours special and unique. Maybe it’s the cherished family room, filled with laughter, games, and shared moments of togetherness, or the wall adorned with family photos and memories. Embrace the quirks and imperfections of your home—they’re what make it yours.
Here are some practical tips to help you navigate and ultimately conquer house-envy:
1. Gratitude is the Attitude
Instead of focusing on what your house lacks compared to others, shift your perspective to appreciate what you do have. Sure, your kitchen might not be straight out of a Pinterest board, but it’s where you’ve shared countless meals with loved ones and created memories worth more than any renovation.
When maintaining spotless bedrooms feels impossible due to having young kids around, redirect your attention to those loving memories formed through bedtime stories and cuddles with them. Consider how much more precious these moments are than merely having a pretty but ’empty’ room. Embrace the joy and warmth that come with sharing these special times with your beloved, even if it means a bit of mess along the way. Practicing gratitude can help reframe your mindset and foster a greater sense of contentment.
2. Set Meaningful and Realistic Goals
Rather than fixating on what you lack, set achievable targets to work towards. Maybe it’s decluttering and organising your space to make it feel more tidy or creating a fun space for your family to gather or implementing sustainable practices to reduce your environmental footprint; whatever it is, focus on what truly matters to you and your loved ones.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your dream home. Small steps lead to big changes! Everyone’s journey towards creating their ideal home is unique, and don’t fret if yours doesn’t mirror someone else’s overnight.
3. Find Inspiration, Not Competition
Instead of striving to replicate someone else’s style or aesthetic, use their homes as inspiration for your own space. Incorporate your home with elements that reflect your personality and preferences. Embrace the quirks and character of your space, and don’t be afraid to experiment with different design ideas that resonate with you. After all, true fulfilment comes from living in a home that feels authentic and true to who you are.
4. Practice Mindful Consumption
Be mindful of the content you consume on social media and how it affects your perceptions of home and happiness. Consider limiting exposure to content that triggers feelings of comparison. Instead, seek inspiration from sources promoting authenticity and helpfulness.
Comparison can take a toll on your mental health, so it’s important to take breaks from social media when you need to. Spend more time engaging in activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with positive influences that uplift you rather than bring you down.
5. Remember, You Are Enough.
Your worth isn’t determined by the size of your house or the number of likes on your social media post. It is not defined by the brand of your furniture nor the prestige of your possessions. You are enough, just as you are, regardless of what your home looks like or how it compares to others. Embrace your uniqueness and celebrate the quirks that make your house feel like home.
At the end of the day, a house is just a house. What truly makes it a home are the people you share it with and the memories you create together. Rather than stressing over the latest decor trends, focus on cultivating meaningful connections and experiences within your space.
At the end of the day, a house is just a house. What truly makes it a home are the people you share it with and the memories you create together.
It’s okay to admire other people’s homes and draw inspiration from them, but don’t let it diminish your own sense of happiness and contentment. Your home is a reflection of you and your journey, and that’s something to be proud of. The next time you feel that moment of house-envy, take a moment to appreciate the beauty in your own space and all the memories it holds.
